It's Not About You

When they're cornered, emotional abusers, sociopaths, and other cowards will always return to their signature line: "I can't help the way I am, why can't you be more compassionate?"

We've heard it from our ex partners, self-proclaimed psychopaths on this forum, and now books like Confessions of a Sociopath. They believe themselves to be victims, and it is our fault for choosing not to understand them.

But that's exactly the problem: we do understand them.

As awareness continues to spread, this is only going to escalate. Psychopaths need a way to shift the fast-growing dialog, and so they are casting themselves as eternal victims. Not surprisingly, they pin the blame on "normal" people for failing to empathize with them.

Let's put an end to that right now.

All of us are here recovering today because we tried to empathize with you. We tried to love, accept, and absorb your infinite darkness. We fell into your trap, after you mirrored our personalities and convinced us we had found our soul mates. We cried as you devalued our identities, and we begged when you triangulated us with others.

All the while, you stood there, judging, laughing, and toying with our emotions. Smirking as you watched us plead for compassion.

And now you cry victim? You demand understanding & empathy?

Let me make this perfectly clear: We owe you nothing. This journey is not about you.

I do not care if you were born this way or if you are a product of a difficult past. You destroy lives. That is what you do now, and you will never change.

It is not my responsibility to feel bad about this. If you had approached me honestly and asked for help, then of course I would have offered it. But you fooled me into loving a fake persona, and then laughed in my face when you tortured & abandoned me.

I survived that, and now I have a chance to life my life, free from your mind games & manufactured drama. Unlike you, I am capable of change. And that's an opportunity I cannot pass up.

It's not about you, and that's what you fail to comprehend - your mind actually seems incapable of processing it. Even when thousands of survivors embark on an adventure to break all contact with your kind forever, you feel victimized.

Every one of us is here today because we want to find self-respect & happiness again. That's it. How can you be a victim of that? We stand here in our quiet corner of the world, healing & rebuilding the self-esteem you once tried to destroy.

I choose to save my compassion for those who are capable of reciprocating it. As the word continues to spread, we are going to find more and more people who seek the same sort of mutual serenity. It's called self-respect. And it's not because we fail to empathize with you. It's because we already have, and now we want absolutely nothing to do with you.

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