After Psychological Abuse: Finding Meaning From Suffering

As my journey began to move forward, I began to notice that although I had spoken much about my suffering (which is vital to recovery) I had not yet begun to find meaning in the suffering.

It seemed like I was suffering for no reason. I had not done anything wrong, and I quite honestly tried my very best to live within the the truths I had held so dear most of my life.

I just could not understand why all the suffering.

Until I did.

The natural outcome after healing is the awareness that love and compassion give our lives meaning and depth. We connect more deeply, we see more clearly. We can now help others from a space of honoring our own suffering, respecting what was the message within. We heal ourselves to realize that we are healing others. It wasn't about me. The experience. It was about learning to love others through it too. We finally released the abusers to the universe. We return to ourselves. We accept they can not change. But we can. We find that we can be a part (perhaps very small) of a bigger picture of life, as a whole. We contribute to the sacredness of life. Our time is no longer spent on those who don't care.

We can continue loving. We carry on. Our spirit is strong, our backbones infused with courage. Our wisdom, our knowledge keeps us from ever returning to such an unnatural place, where love can not be expressed. We can know. They are who they are. But we are who we are. We can continue loving. We carry on. We learn to say no without judging our analyzing ourselves. We allow ourselves the spontaneous expression of our soul. We carry on. We continue loving. We step back when our boundaries are violated, we disengage. We carry on. We continue loving.

Our anger is replaced with a gentle life force that cares for who we are. So we receive. We receive the greatest gift life offers. We get to be who we are. We carry on. We continue loving. The deepest lesson is that our suffering, that which we thought was meaningless, opens us up to receive and be there for another in their own. All judging stops. We are human. We hurt . We can heal one another.

In the end, we carry on. We love safely. Genuinely. With complete freedom that our joy has finally returned.

I say " we" because I could not have gotten where I am without you all. We do this together. Who I am today, is who I was the day I met the psychopath. The difference is I now appreciate and actually LIKE me.