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Do they always return?

Discussion in 'Relationship Abuse Recovery' started by Jao930, Apr 28, 2013.

  1. Jao930

    Jao930 Member

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    my p's own family cant stand him from what i just learned today. no wonder i never met them. his sisters work at our pd dept and they apparently dismissed his silly butt a few yrs back for ....take a guess...of course, the way he treats women! no suprise there i guess
     
  2. Adora

    Adora Psychopath Free Donor

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    My P always acted like he has lots of friends but from what I can tell he has only one friend, and otherwise it's all family
     
  3. Peace
    Dreaming

    Peace Administrator

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    Great question - My ex found pointless ways to contact me after I first went No Contact. That seems to drive them insane.

    I ended up telling him I knew he was a psychopath, emailing a letter explaining his disorder to all of his friends, family, and new boyfriend. It included every single one of his manipulative tactics, along with everything terrible he had said about them.

    Needless to say, I never heard from him again... But just to be clear, I do NOT recommend this method. I'm sure they all think I'm crazy now, and all it did was feed his ammo. Although when he D&D'd the new boyfriend, I got a "thank you".
     
  4. Jao930

    Jao930 Member

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    i know what you mean..now that i told my Lt at work so i can try and get some of the $ back that he swindled out of me i feel like now he feels im a crazy . He wasnt happy when i told him what the P did but i feel like maybe now he thinks im just a vindictive girlfriend that didnt get her way. exactly what the p told me.."work dosent care about our personal lives, no crime has been committed". but i feel there has to be some kind of moral code of conduct i can use to get some back. i wouldnt have bothered but my finances are in BAD shape because of HIM and how he brainwashed me into giving him all that money.
     
  5. progprof2011

    progprof2011 Member

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    Last time I heard from the XP, I called him a psycho and told him not to contact me again. That was about a month ago- I had started NC on day one, but obviously this is someone who doesn't care about the rules or me, just himself. I know he hasn't deleted my number, or my contact on his messenger (although I've blocked him on the messenger- can't block numbers on the new iPhone).

    Anyways, I don't doubt he'll come around again someday. He's very focused on his new victim, but also seems to need to keep all his exes around, too. I am proud of the fact that I won't allow this to happen. I think he knows it- so whether he's given up, or just biding his time, I don't know. I know it pissed him off that I went NC immediately, after he repeatedly wanted "friendship" with me. Doesn't matter- the end result will be the same. I will ignore him and not respond.

    I think making sure EVERYTHING of his was returned to him was the best choice (right down to his shampoo, and the teaspoons he bought one), after NC. He has absolutely no legitimate reason to contact me again. It would just make him look evil or desparate. Or both. But I know when his fresh victim starts to get boring, he'll be looking around again, and will probably try me out, first.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2013
  6. Wonderwoman

    Wonderwoman Psychopath Free Donor

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    I will eat my own Golden Lasso if I ever hear from Mr. Creepy again. I told 3 brothers and 2 current "friends" that he resides somewhere on the spectrum. My best guess is that he's an extreme case of NPD. So he knows that I know and he pretty much hates me now. Good.
     
  7. PeacefulJourney

    PeacefulJourney Member

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    I highly doubt that I'll hear from my ex P again. The last time I contacted him, I made a list of every nasty thing he's done, told him that being with him is unhealthy, that we can never go back to the relationship or even be friends and that I should've left a long time ago. He knows that I'm onto him and he's attractive so he'll have no problem getting new supply once he discards his latest victim. Plus he's vindictive so his not contacting me would be his way of getting back at me. He thinks that would hurt me when in actuality he's doing me a favor.
     
  8. PeacefulJourney

    PeacefulJourney Member

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    It was the same thing with mine. He claims he had male friends that he grew up with but he never hung out with them or kept in contact with them. The only friends he seemed to keep in contact with were his female friends, not surprisingly. I guess he's been keeping them on reserve.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2013
  9. Wakeup

    Wakeup Inactive Inactive

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    Thanks for the laugh this morning, Wonderwoman! :D
     
  10. AgentSmith

    AgentSmith Inactive Inactive

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    I believe they always return. I've been the victim of 3 in "relationships". The first I dated briefly, found out he was nuts, left, and he stalked me for over a year. I guess you could consider that many attempts to "return". He was convicted of stalking me. The next was the federal cop who handled the case of the first. After he got what he wanted from me, he went silent. After about a year of silence, he walked up to me like nothing ever happened and attempted to flirt with me (I walked past him like he was invisible). He ended up moving out of state (thank God!).

    Also, I dated one for 7 yrs (I'm not counting him in the 3 I mentioned earlier). I don't know if I would consider him a P, maybe just an N but some have considered him a low level P. I left him after 7 yrs of his BS (nothing compared to the 3 later ones which is why I don't count him). Then recently, after about 6 YEARS of NC, he showed up at my front door!! I never told him where I lived and have bought this house during the NC period, so he had to do some kind of research to find my address and show up. He had sent an email that morning and I was very upset at just getting an email from him after all those years. I didn't respond. A few hours later, he was knocking on my front door! I was in total shock. He tried to get my number and everything. Clearly, he was out of N supply, and trying old sources. I didn't give him my number. He emailed again maybe a week later. I didn't respond. Haven't heard from him since (been a few months).

    And now I'm on the 3rd P. Been NC for 9 days. He is already trolling dating sites for new victims. I have had him banned from several dating sites and am trying to get the word out to all of them. I am not sure if he will try to return because he knows I got #1 convicted of stalking and he is currently on probation and afraid to screw up again.
     
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