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Brainwashing

Discussion in 'Relationship Abuse Recovery' started by peru, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. peru

    peru Administrator

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    With out a doubt a psychopath uses brainwashing in his seduction techniques , i dont think my psychopath actually studied formally theses techniques but i do think he spent a life time homing his craft in all his walks of life . A psychopath will develope taylor made persona for everyone he knows , he is a different person to the milkman , the woman in the shop , his family and his work , he will enjoy the manipulation and gain satifaction in pulling the wool over victims eyes . My psychopath would even change his accent to match the person he was talking to such was his need to mirror , even the mirroring was the begiinnings of his brainwashing of that person .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PSDCEAQB-I

    Peru xx
     
  2. Peace
    Dreaming

    Peace Administrator

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    Nice one, Peru! Mine changed the types of smileys he used to match mine... Ugh
     
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  3. An Old-Fashioned Girl
    Artistic

    An Old-Fashioned Girl Administrator

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    In my case, the psychopath uses different languages.

    The Psycho used the Japanese language, which connected with the terrifying events of my story.

    The Psycho uses the Portuguese language with the current victim. The victim is an immigrant and does not speak English, but Portuguese only.

    This is actually very scary.
     
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  4. Jewels

    Jewels Member

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    So true. My ex-P was a completely different person, based on who he was around (I call them his audience). Thankfully those that know him, know his charade and stay away. We see through the mask of sanity.
     
  5. Ailsa

    Ailsa Member

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    I am convinced that they are completely empty and have to mirror in order to come over as a human being. The psychopath ex had a thing with having the same drinks as the women he targeted. First time he came over to my place I had a special drink which I buy rarely. From that day on he bought it all the time.Wow,I thought,he must like it a lot. Later we had a Woofer girl staying with us and he was obviously flirting with her and giving me the silent treatment.She was Scottish and drank often 'Iron Brew'. The psychopath started to drink it too.Then,after she had left,psychopath came back from shopping with 2 bottles of Iron brew! They continue doing it even if the mirrored person is not around.She also was into sudoku puzzles and of course psychopath took that up too. A few months earlier he had condemned me for doing puzzles,that was utterly selfish of me and I could have used that time conversing with him. He added that my previous relationships must have failed because of me doing a puzzle.Well,I should have known that all my attention had to be for him.
     
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  6. Lemsip (Chirpy)

    Lemsip (Chirpy) Inactive

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    If somebody buys the same drink or meal as me when out and about I find it creepy. Unfortunately it's very commonplace these days because psychopathic society has taught non-psychopaths this is how they should behave. In the early nineties I remember my housemates inviting me out for a meal with their friends and one friend I found particularly creepy and loud mouthed. She ordered from the menu first and everybody else apart from me and one other chose exactly the same or almost the same which was pasta. I ordered something completely different as I had had pasta for lunch that day. I felt odd for being different but happy to be eating what I had chosen as it was my money used to pay for the food I was eating and I wasn't going to waste in food that I didn't want to eat. Something was niggling me that it was a good thing not to follow suit for the sake of it.
     
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  7. DawnG

    DawnG Inactive Inactive

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    Wow, Peru. I know a lot about brainwashing but this never registered.

    My first husband (narcissistic traits for sure!) spoke to people in the way he thought they spoke. If a person had a southern accent, he adopted some hokey southern accent. If the person was young like a teenager or 20-something he used some slang like "yo, what's up man?" We called it his "salesman" voice. I don't think he knew how ridiculous he sounded.

    The P was a "man's man". He sat with the guys in the bar and poked fun of people they thought were weaker. They were all arrogant and disgusting. To his other long-term friends he is Party Guy, always having them over when I wasn't there to drink and get high. He was respectful to most older ladies. To other women I imagine he is the same as he was with me - if I wanted him I had to chase him a bit, and if I didn't chase then he would turn on the charm or the pity ploy until I caved.
     
  8. Jewels

    Jewels Member

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    Creepy. My ex-P never would drink the beer I drink (Coronas) but soon after that, that was all he'd drink. Or if I asked him what he wanted at a restaurant, he'd order and then eat off my plate, commenting how I always choose the right or better thing. Later, he'd have me choose or would say that he didn't care (which drove me insane). Many times I'd choose per his request, then he'd complain. He was a ball of confusion. Or when I first met him, all he would eat was white bread and was very picky, then as time went on, he changed to not being picky (I am not picky) and would only eat wheat bread, commenting how much better for you it is (my reasoning). We used to argue over white/wheat bread back in the day lol how stupid is that?

    I noticed the same thing with words that people use, like I use the word 'chica' when I talk to my girl friends, and now he uses the word. Or even telling stories, he'd tell me things then I'd go to his brothers and would hear the same stories (like he adopted them). I believe you are absolutely right Ailsa, they are so empty that they mirror whomever they are around and continue to do so when that mirrored person is not around.
     
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  9. miarin123

    miarin123 Member

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    Brainwashing occurred to me after he traps you with an emotional boo hoo story but tries to rationalise and turn your answers and opinions into his answers. It hurts because you love and trust them, you dont realised they are actually messing with your head till much later when the damage is done. He doesnt see that other people deserve autonomy and their own opinion, everyone has to bow down to him. Eventhough all his thought patterns are very very destructive and plain out dumb. he makes you feel sorry for him when you dont listen too. the guilt trips, the constant boo-hoos or he causes trouble. Parking misdeamours, not showing up to work on time, conflict with so and so etc, just to MAKE you take care of him and listen to him. To an outsider, it might seem like we should help because we are family. But let me tell you as someone who has been there. There is nothing loving, about a fully grown, able body and minded parent passing off all their personal responsibility to their child. It is burdening and very frustrating. You are never allowed your own time, he doesnt care about your future or happiness. It is all about him and his pity party. Adults should be self sufficient, I wasnt born into this world to be his caretaker since I was 15. NO.
     
  10. Jomarion

    Jomarion New Member

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    I was always shocked and hurt how he can change on a dime. Once I was crying in his car over something he had done to me. He was listening with a sense of hurt, I think. Then he stops the car at the end of the road, a 'friend' is there walking.(of course behind this guy's back he says he is a jerk) He sudddenly changes, acts all smiling and happy to this guy. There I am in the passenger side of the car trying to hide my tears and red face while he is all charming and friendly! That hurt so much. When I got upset he did not seem to know what he had done was upsetting.

    He is especially polite and friendly to people he does not know well.

    Once he got angry I would not let him in the house because I was afraid of him, so he took my horse into the road and threatened to let him go in the middle of it if I would not let him in the house. When he saw a car coming he turned around and came back into the drive saying 'I never tried to put your horse in the road' - as if rehearsing what he would say to the person if the person stopped to help me, trying to make out I was crazy.

    His children are really good at this. The 20 year old used to put on lots of fake tears (she even admitted this to me!), and there was one period she used to act 'abused' in public. She did this by cringing when he would try to touch her, to make out he was a molester. She would make out I abused her too by acting scared of me. I am surprised how many fell for this, and it was the beginning of their smear campaign against me.

    He used to act really nice and friendly to a woman in a shop, making me jealous. He would do things like smile to her when my back was turned, so I only caught a glimpse of it from the corner of my eye. This from a man who had already cheated on me. Later he told me he was doing this on purpose to make me jealous because HE was jealous of how people liked me!

    He acts friendly to people he says he hates. Will honk and toot at them if he sees them on the road, then will mutter to me 'A--hole'. Just last week he was friendly to a guy in a shop, then as we are walking out he mutters an expletive about him. Then he has the audacity to complain about people being two-faced!When I say then why do you do it, he says he has to!

    Once he slipped up his acts with me. We went to a shop and he commented in a sexist way about one of the dirty magazines on the shelf. I got upset. Later he apologized, saying he 'confused who he was with' saying that is how he talks with his co-workers!

    I could go on and on.
     
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