Popular on PF (Mobile)

Staff Forums (Mod Den)

Popular on PF Right Now

7 Warning Signs

Discussion in 'Relationship Abuse Recovery' started by Peace, Feb 8, 2013.

  1. Peace
    Dreaming

    Peace Administrator

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2011
    Messages:
    8,162
    Likes Received:
    55,358
    No Contact:
    67 Months
    From the ANA Facebook group:

    1. You feel like killing yourself
    2. You used to be bubbly, happy, carefree and loving - now you question yourself, dont trust others and are constantly feeling defensive
    3. Youre accused of things you don't do
    4. You feel like you're crazy
    5. You CANT resolve any conflicts with the person and always feel like there's so much more to say, but youre not allowed
    6. You're at the center of defending yourself against a smear campaign brought on by lies told by the narcissist
    7. You wonder what the hell is wrong with you
     
    hungrywoman1, Victoria, Mason and 4 others like this.
  2. psychobear

    psychobear Inactive

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2012
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    1,006
    No Contact:
    Months
    Too often people seem to think that emotions are the enemy... that they cause us to be irrational or illogical. They are suppressed... we don't show them... we ignore them... and where does that get you? If you are paying attention to how someone makes you feel then you can likewise allow this to guide you closer or further from them.

    The psychopath has a way to get around this. This is the lovebombing. We need to remember not to embrace new people in our life... hold them at arms length. Psychopaths are not often very patient.
     
  3. Peace
    Dreaming

    Peace Administrator

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2011
    Messages:
    8,162
    Likes Received:
    55,358
    No Contact:
    67 Months
    Absolutely psychobear - this is why I love the question: "How are you feeling today?". It answers so much more than "Is he really a psychopath?"

    We start to realize that our feelings tell us everything we need to know. If we don't like how we feel around someone, why should they have a place in our lives? Who cares if he's a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, or a garden-variety butthead. The answer is already in our heart.
     
  4. Adora

    Adora Psychopath Free Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    4,779
    No Contact:
    Months
    Yes to all 7 :(
    Great list...

    what's ANA?
     
    Mason likes this.
  5. Peace
    Dreaming

    Peace Administrator

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2011
    Messages:
    8,162
    Likes Received:
    55,358
    No Contact:
    67 Months
    Mason and Adora like this.
  6. Adora

    Adora Psychopath Free Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    4,779
    No Contact:
    Months
    that's a great FB page, thanks for the link :)
     
    hungrywoman1, Peace and Mason like this.
  7. Mason

    Mason Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Messages:
    506
    Likes Received:
    2,401
    Location:
    USA
    No Contact:
    47 Months
    It's a good list Peace, but some of things apply more than others for me. I was determined all along to survive and never considered killing myself an option! Who knows why? Maybe because I have a family who would be absolutely devastated and damaged perhaps permanently if I were to ever do such a thing. Permanent solution to a temporary problem? Besides, I refuse to give him that satisfaction! Let him wither and die on the vine from lack of attention is my philosophy!

    I know crazy coming from a family where I had a dysfunctional parents. I grew up with mom in semi-permanent residence at the State Mental Hospital along with other similar patients. I was also told years ago by a Psychiatrist and Psychiatric social worker who separately agreed that if anything, I was stronger, and healthier than most people! I am at peace, as I know I'm okay! ;)

    I was vulnerable to the psychopath because I was lonely and wanted a best friend, lover and companion! I believe those to be pretty common and normal emotions. That was my deficit and weakness. I had a lot of love to give a man and none to give it to.

    Funny thing, while my youngest sister is considered the "rock" of the family, I'm the one she relies on for support! My rep (at least prior psychopath) was that of being a of a strong, stable, honest person. Those who know me, know that still applies and those who would believe the psychopath, don't really matter to me!

    Yes, the famous smear campaign. He's done some of that, but I've also been known to go on the offensive calling a spade a spade so to speak. I don't know that I've ever had a bubbly, spontaneous personality, but when I'm in a light-hearted mood, I can laugh, joke and have a good time! I'm a pretty serious cat though, and I enjoy life. My answer was to shut those engaging in the smear campaign down, blocking and deleting them.

    Now regarding the issue about having something to say and not being able to say it, definitely applies! He'd forbid me from discussing various subjects, and I began walking on eggshells around him! After the D&D, he has since then, pretty much pretended that I don't even exist! So, okay. We are NCEA! I get curious about him from time to time, but I believe he's largely maintaining a low profile and most of the time, I forget to even wonder about him or even think to look! Whew! Happy about that!

    Good list and thanks for posting it. Love it!
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2013
Loading...