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Thread: Sexual Behavior of the Psychopath

  1. #1
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            Balanced

    Sexual Behavior of the Psychopath

    Psychopaths do not discriminate in the selection of sexual partners. Between the traits of a psychopath are sexual promiscuity and risk-taker attitude. Therefore, it is not surprising that psychopaths engage on numerous affairs and will not distinguish between men and women when choosing sexual partners.



    Just the other day, a friend found out that her psychopath ex-husband has an ad on a singles website that reads “wants to meet a guy of 18”. Yes, very shocking. This is even more disturbing considering the fact that the psycho is currently married to a woman.
    Last edited by An Old-Fashioned Girl; 04-06-2012 at 09:25 AM. Reason: correction
    Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. - William Shakespeare
    Kindness is the greatest wisdom. ~Author Unknown



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    Your post hit the nail on the head here, in terms of my experience - in fact he feels that one shouldn't judge the likes of Tiger Woods or Charlie Sheen for their promiscuity - yes, he agrees he's bisexual - whilst being married to two wives, 4 - 5 children later, and still that is not enough for him....he likes them 'wild' as he likes to say (more like feral, if you ask me), he surrounds himself with other bisexuals (I think one of his friends is a stripper at a gay/lesbian club), he's fully into all sorts of porn, including gay porn, and their main objective with me, has been to harass me day and night into becoming 'just like them!' - this being despite, or maybe because of the fact that I have 4 (holy) crosses in my lounge, a budda on my dining-room table, and I would have thought that told it's own story (no, not the religious kind)....that kind of lightforce, they just 'gotta have'!! This in-between, attempting to use covert hypnosis and energy transference (even from a distance) to corrupt my light - a sick thrill. I call him 'The King Of Sleaze' He is the most Godless and souless being I've ever encountered. He's also psychic, so watches me even while I'm typing this from a distance (seems unreal doesn't it) - which is often why I don't like giving him the pleasure of seeing my annoyance or anger - it feeds him - and I refuse to do more of that than I need to.

    This forum has been my saving grace (apart from my friends, who DO believe me - thankfully - and have been supportive, especially as they begin to understand more and more about this phenomenon) My friends want to 'rip his head from his body', but are balanced enough to know that's not a long-term solution.

    Believe me, ALL of this is true, and I share this for the benefit of anyone else that may come onto this forum, to let them know that I BELIEVE them.....they are not imagining it, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
    Last edited by southafricangirl; 04-29-2013 at 08:00 AM.



  4. #3
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            Dreaming
    Great post! Here's some more on psychos & sex from Kelli's FB page:

    I have had another epiphany that I want to share here: Every psychopath is sexually abusive. READ AGAIN: EVERY psychopath is SEXUALLY ABUSIVE. They are also SEXUALLY EXPLOITATIVE.

    If you perceive this person to be great in bed and that's the focus of what you believe is romantic love and passion, did it ever dawn on you WHY he is this way? PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!! Yes, not only is he doing it WITH YOU, but psychopaths are NOT capable of monogamy, no matter WHAT you may believe, even if you don't know about it, he HAS other women. This can even be something that is a PORN addiction. Because the psychopath is incapable of love, and USES SEX to hook you, he is SEXUALLY ABUSING YOU. You are an OBJECT. FROM BEGINNING TO END. A MEANS TO AN END, YES ANOTHER HOLE! I know how painful this can be, but it's like putting a cold spray of water on a cat who is misbehaving!
    He is USING SEX to hook you into the relationship. WHAT about sexual abuse is appealing to you???? What about a man's DISRESPECT in that you are an object APPEALING for you? When he gets bored with the SEX ABUSE of you, he simply SEXUALLY ABUSES someone else. This is called CHEATING, being PROMISCUOUS.

    Sex for many women is bonding. This is why i could never have a friends with benefits relationship. Sex is meaningful to me and reserved for a man I love. For a psychopath, it's a weapon for him to ABUSE YOU.

    We reeeeeeeeeally need to be realistic about this. In a healthy relationship, sex is an act that underscores love and respect shared. So many women say, "but the sex was sooooo good" and many women, when I try to argue this point with them, REFUSE to believe that for HIM there was NO CONNECTION at all and that he was SEXUALLY ABUSING HER. Why is it hard to imagine that people can have sex, even "GREAT" sex without love? It's an act, anyone can do. It's a SMALL space in time, compared to what really matters in life. A psychopath wants you to believe you were the best "sex" he ever had. While that might make us feel really good and give us the warm fuzzies and make us feel like no one could be as good as WE are or HAVE BEEN compared to the other women he's been with (Bazillions here), this is NARCISSISTIC on our part. So here's reality: Think about it: When a psychopath says you're the best sex he's ever had, this is NOT a compliment!!! Realistically, he's been with MANY women that are "good in bed" lol! It's also an insult to you. Really? Is that all I"M GOOD AT for you?

    There is nothing about the sickness of sexual abuse that is about passion, love or respect. There is nothing about being an object that is at all appealing when considering your self respect and dignity. There is nothing romantic or great about sex if you understand that the psychopath has said this to MANY women and it's one of their FAVORITE lines to deliver. It appeals to women in a very competitive way. Who doesn't want to be the BEST for her man, but if you look deeper at this, it's not a compliment and he's exploiting women's secret cattiness about being BETTER THAN the other woman, just like we feel when out of the relationship and are somehow missing what the other woman HAS. NEITHER IS TRUE.

    Nothing about a man who is using you in this way for his own means is "great sex". It's exploitative and abusive sex. Sex with a psychopath is not about how much he "loves" you or thinks you're "great in bed" it's about POWER AND DOMINANCE. because he CAN. Two seconds after the act is OVER, he's in BLISS because he DOMINATED and DUPED you more. This is probably the most powerful weapon in his arsenal with women and he knows it.

    Sexual exploitation and abuse is devastating. I think this is often missed in recovery. For women sex is associated with bonding and love. Not all, but for most. Because it is such an intimate part of who we are, it is betrayal at the deepest level.

    Work on this. That great sex was not great sex. It was sexual abuse. It was sexual exploitation. You were an object. What in the world about this is at all "romantic"?

    Try to take this BIGGEST fantasy and put it where it belongs.

    It will help you much when you are able to accept that the "great sex" you were having was actually the most intimate part of you being exploited and abused by a psychopath.

    You're too good for that. Not because you're "great in bed" the most insulting of all labels by a psychopath, but because you are worthy of love and respect with regards to giving yourself in a relationship sexually.

    NOTHING about being with a psychopath is healthy and without exploitation, including, but most importantly, sex.
    I've written a new book! More information here:
    https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?12562-The-Psychopath-Cure-A-New-Book-by-Peace

    Your abuse was not the result of weakness. In fact, it illuminated some of your most beautiful & human qualities.



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    Long term, drawn out, rape. That's a main reason why many of us are so devastated and traumatized. We were manipulated and abused on a sexual, primal level. Hard to face, for sure, but I know you're right. Thanks for taking the effort to write about it here, and to emphasize the importance of really knowing this is the case.

    A little flag for me, looking back, waved during our first date. He said how he loved it when women wore white pants. I briefly thought, "Women? How do you know how I look? Isn't it about me now?" The thoughts were fleeting, but the point was that women, including me, were being objectified. It was never about ME as a person. It was always ME as an object. Always.
    Last edited by Victoria; 04-06-2012 at 02:54 PM.



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    Yes, a very similar experience for me... everything sexual was definately about control for him too... And,,.looking back, it wouldnt surprize me at all to know that he were with men as well.... Now, on the outside, he was a big burly red-neck kind of guy..., but he told me once of a night out when a group went back to a hotel room after the bar,and a guy was "just begging" to ... do it to him, ... but he said no, because I am a boy... well, I always wondered if he altered the story for my benefit,,..
    And then I was mentioning to a gay friend of mine that twice now he had attended the Gay Pride Parade in his city... alone .... My friend said.. "oh my god, Watch out!!! that is definately a red flag.. straight guys dont do that..."

    I think he was probably seeing what action he could drum up on that side of the fence....

    who knows??
    Last edited by ckwanderlust; 04-06-2012 at 03:16 PM.



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            Dreaming
    Did anyone else feel that he wanted you to ask for sex? Like it gave him some sort of control/thrill to know that you always initiated? After the original love-bomb where he can't get enough of us physically, it seems that's just a trap to make us more reliant on him - sealing the chemical addiction.

    I seriously would think to myself, "Okay, I'm not going to initiate anything tonight, because he always ends up smirking or calling me a whore." That is NOT how a healthy relationship works! In healthy relationships, sex is not a game, and we certainly don't need to pre-plan how to avoid a hypothetical situation. The thing is, those hypotheticals become so common & predictable... The only solution is NCEA, but most of us have absolutely no idea what we've gotten ourselves into.

    And by the way, on those nights when I tried not to initiate anything, he would start making out with me. Then I'd feel bad about planning not to hook up, and I'd start reciprocating normally. And then as soon as I got into it, he'd back away and smirk and say something to the effect of: "Wow, someone's horny..." In that same old smug, teasing way (we all know it very well, I'm sure). And of course, if I ever pointed it out, he just called me sensitive and crazy.

    They're such fucking assholes lol
    Last edited by Peace; 04-06-2012 at 03:29 PM.
    I've written a new book! More information here:
    https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?12562-The-Psychopath-Cure-A-New-Book-by-Peace

    Your abuse was not the result of weakness. In fact, it illuminated some of your most beautiful & human qualities.



  8. #7
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    Peace, a couple of specifics were so true for me also:

    1. He called me and everyone else a whore. We know now that it's because HE IS A WHORE!

    2. The twisted logic that always ends up stabbing you in the back, no matter how you try to avoid it or try to out-manipulate them to save your sanity, rings all too familiar.
    Last edited by Victoria; 01-06-2013 at 05:41 PM. Reason: too much info



  9. #8
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            Dreaming
    Peace, a couple of specifics were so true for me also:

    1. He called me and everyone else a whore. We know now that it's because HE IS A WHORE!

    2. The twisted logic that always ends up stabbing you in the back, no matter how you try to avoid it or try to out-manipulate them to save your sanity, rings all too familiar.
    Exactly!!! As Thomas says, you can't out-psychopath a psychopath. Even if you beat them at their own game, they just change the rules. NCEA is the only way!

    And one of the worst things onlookers can do after the fact is say "Well maybe you're just attracted to bad boys who play games." NO! NO NO NO NO!!!!! All of us were sucked in by this charming, good guy who DIDN'T play games and treated us kindly! He made us feel like the only person in the world. THAT is who we fell in love with. Not the mind-games, drama, and triangulation. NONE of us asked for this, and we never could have known what was coming given our normal/empathetic understanding of human nature.
    Last edited by Victoria; 01-06-2013 at 05:42 PM. Reason: too much info re Victoria
    I've written a new book! More information here:
    https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?12562-The-Psychopath-Cure-A-New-Book-by-Peace

    Your abuse was not the result of weakness. In fact, it illuminated some of your most beautiful & human qualities.



  10. #9
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            Dreaming
    The way I see it with the judgmental/unhelpful onlookers:

    It's like putting a frog in some nice cool water, bringing it to a slow boil, and then blaming the frog for dying. Instead of blaming the jerk who tortured it.
    I've written a new book! More information here:
    https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?12562-The-Psychopath-Cure-A-New-Book-by-Peace

    Your abuse was not the result of weakness. In fact, it illuminated some of your most beautiful & human qualities.



  11. #10
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    Xp had mentioned to me that he once had "experimented" with a man before. I found that to be shocking in the beginning and without knowing at that time about p's or n's I found it very odd because he had never showed any kind of signs that he would be intrested in men, as a matter of fact he was very intrested in women. Many years later in one of his crazy rants he said that in 10 years from now, he might be gay. I looked at him like wtf are you talking about ?? You're NOT gay, how in the world do you turn gay, either you are or you're not! I realized then not to try to figure out his disordered mind, if I tried I was going to drive myself insane. They're views and thoughts change more often then they change their clothes. they are sick and twisted in every sense and feel entitled to change the minds and sexual preference however and whenever they choose, after all, in their sick mind they are special and deserve whatever they prefer at that moment.

    To try to figure them out is like trying to get water from a rock, its NEVER going to happen.
    Last edited by Spellbound; 04-06-2012 at 04:14 PM.
    SPELLBOUND



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