OMG, yours sounds EXACTLY like mine! EXACTLYWhat kinds of things did your ex say or do to send you reeling down a rabbit hole? Here's a few of mine:
- Once, I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks and she broke a date via text at the last minute, claiming work had just messed with her schedule and she had to get it straightened out ASAP. When I didn't respond, she called, crying. I started to say something, and got as far as "I don't understand....." when she screamed at me, "What? What don't you understand? That I'm under a lot of stress?" With ice in my voice, I said I'd talk to her later, and hung up. 10 minutes later she texted me to say she knew I was upset, and we hashed it out a bit, and I started to feel better. But THEN she texted "In the future, I may not respond if you have another outburst like that. I don't want you to think that's a valid way to get my attention." I had not once raised my voice, wept, or done anything remotely resembling an "outburst!"
- Toward the end of our affair, when I could not seem to get my feet under me, I left a party she was at very early. The next day she texted me that I had seemed uncomfortable and ill at ease. I confessed that I was feeling hurt by her distance lately, and having a hard time trusting that she wouldn't disappear on me again for weeks straight. She responded not by reassuring me, but with "When you say you're hurt, I feel pressure to fix things and the burden of the blame. It makes me not want to interact with you."
- She asked me if I was going to a mutual friend's party. I said, flirting, "Do you want me to go?" And she responded with, "Don't try to make me jump through hoops for you. Because I won't."
- When I told her my shrink had put me on antidepressants she responded with a very helpful story about how an ex once told her she should be on medication, and she never spoke to him again.