Narcissists shame & humiliate their targets, because this solidifies their dominance in the relationship. If you are thrown into an embarrassing situation, feeling less than human, then you suddenly start to feel inferior to the person who orchestrated it all to begin with. You strive to meet their impossible standards, doing everything you can to prove yourself better than your past “mistakes”. You begin to realize that all of the secrets you shared with your once trusted partner are now being judged & used against you. They’ve discovered what makes you tick, and they use this information to manufacture lose-lose situations and watch you self-destruct. Ideally, there will be an audience of their friends and yours, to finalize the triangulation and crazy-making behavior. You will find that no healthy human being focuses so aggressively on your negative aspects. Once this toxic person is removed from your life, there will be so many others who love & appreciate the qualities that your abuser intentionally ignored.
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