The Narcissist's Fan Club

I never doubted the fan club, I knew it was always there. Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists are professionals at charming the pants off of anyone. And they always have a line of unsuspecting victims ready to go. Why is that?

Well think about your situation. Think about what they went through to con you, to get you to bend. All that charm, all that fluff, all those grand gestures of affection. Who wouldn't be fooled? We were fooled.

This is a hard truth for anyone to hear. I know when I first realized this, I lived in denial. I said to myself and to my friends, no it's not possible. I'm the only one. My partner told me I was the only one. Then every day, a new memory pops into my head... Then it begins to dawn on you that, even if you didn't catch them red handed, their behavior fit the pattern of a cheater.

All of a sudden, you feel like you are standing on quicksand, the earth is shaking, you can't move your legs and you are sinking fast. You begin to panic and scream for help. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Do you hear that? The glass that's shattering in your fragile heart?

You grip your chest and try to control your breathing. All this is happening because of that person. The many red flags come into focus, the arguments are now magnified. Your why's are now becoming the validation you need.

Then another natural earthshaking truth hits you... You are a victim of the highest form of hate and malice anyone could ever receive. Your character and your heart is being smeared by the person who you thought loved you. But wait, who are they smearing your character to?

You guessed it: their fan club.

Who exactly is their fan club? Friends, family, coworkers and new victims. They have a different story for each one of them regarding your relationship. Usually there is one common theme at hand... "Woe is me."

To their friends you were the crazy ex that suffocated him/her. You were the one who didn't trust, or you were the one who was playing the mind games. "Woe is me, my ex did this to me and I was the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife."

To their family you were the one who broke his/her heart. All they was trying to do was help you. Or maybe the flipside: you left their side when they needed you the most. "Woe is me, my ex left me when I was at my lowest, I begged for him/her but they didn't want to be there for me..."

To their coworkers you were just another notch on the bedpost and it really didn't mean anything. You are the center of their jokes as they brag about the way they "duped" you. "Dude, they were an awesome lay but it didn't mean anything. I told you I can make anyone do anything for me."

To their new victim you didn't live up to par to his/her expectations. You were in fact a let down and you were the liar in the relationship. You really aren't the person they thought you to be and in fact they feel duped by you. Then, they proceed to go into detail about the things you did or did not do to satisfy them when the reality is, they were the one unable to fulfill their responsibility as the other half of an adult relationship. This is where the con cycle begins again... Their new victim looks at you as lower than dirt and wants to prove they will be better than you. Sad truth here, that victim will probably turn up on a support forum the way you have. "Woe is me, they never did this, and all I ever wanted was to be loved."

Friends, even if you never met their fan club or knew their fan club, they had at least one. I can not stand the fact that my name and my character was smeared through crap by all four of my ex's fan clubs (that I know about). It totally sucks! But the only thing I can tell you is, they will eventually be discovered. They can't stay in that darkness in the same spot for too long.

We know the truth about them and you know the truth about yourself. Don't let their lies become your reality.