Psychopaths and Projection

Psychopaths project and blame you for what they themselves do; i.e., accuse you of being negative when they are usually the most negative person you've ever met. They also gaslight you into believing that when you have a normal reaction to something they do, like being angry and hurt because of their silent treatment, broken promises, lying, or cheating, that it's your reaction that's the problem and there is something wrong with you. That when you call them out on their inappropriate and unacceptable behavior, you're the abnormal one who is too sensitive, critical, or always focusing on the negative.

This is part of the head-fuckery they put us through. Acting inappropriately, unacceptable, and downright abusive, and then trying to turn it around to make it our fault. It's adding insult to injury at that point. Not only do they intentionally cause the pain we don't deserve, while denying they've done anything at all, they try to make it our fault so that we blame ourselves for something that supposedly didn't happen. Yes, re-read that. That is how illogical it is. At the D&D and afterwards, it's their parting "gift" to make us take all the blame for the "failure" of the entire relationship when it never had a chance to begin with.

If only we had maintained that glowing optimism and naivety we had during the love-bombing stage through all the subsequent lies and abuse, everything would have been fine. If only we hadn't questioned the contradictions we saw in one sentence or the email we were reading that they denied sending.

Yes, if only we had stayed compliant and brain-washed, in spite of the evidence they make certain was staring us in the face - just to test us - then all would be fine. But even then, they would be bored and disappointed we hadn't caught on or challenged them, and would invent something to accuse us of in order to justify their abuse and create drama. No matter what you do, it's always a lose-lose situation with a psychopath and he wants you to believe you're the loser when it's really him.