I've had a lot of time to think about this, and here's the conclusion I've come to: It's no coincidence that many P's do this, so to answer the 'why' do they do this, I think you have to look at it from a P's perspective. 'Good' times for us = Horrible times for a P. P's abhor making other people happy, but it's something they have to do to continue the game and keep you confused and playing along. (And even when they make an effort to make someone else 'happy', you'll notice that they ALWAYS get something out of it. It's never out of the 'goodness' of their (black) hearts.)
I think after the horrible chore of pretending to be nice to someone, is where their real payoff lies. The silent treatment being one choice. This is where P's turn silence into our abuse and their enjoyment...because of the motivation behind it and what it accomplishes. So what does is accomplish? A lot if you're a P.
Silence may even ruin whatever 'good' memory/event that took place prior...with the P taking full credit for the 'good' event whenever it benefits them and can be used against you, of course.
- It will destroy your self-confidence...did I do something wrong? Is it me?
- You may ask yourself, is he with someone else?...which would accomplish triangulation whether he was actually with someone else or not...it will probably make you work harder to keep his attention focused on you.
- It's gaslighting...presenting false information...are they nice or aren't they?
- It will lead to cognitive dissonance...leaving you with two opposing ideas as mentioned above.
- It's future faking...it will keep you hanging on waiting for the next 'good' time...like a junkie searching for their next high
- It's effective at keeping a trauma bond in place.
- It will leave you extremely anxious...something P's thoroughly enjoy.
Maybe you'll hold on to the 'good' memory thinking that's the real them, and forgive them for being 'insensitive' and not contacting you sooner.
It's also nearly impossible to chalk up silence as abuse unless you know exactly what you're dealing with...so if you can't put your finger on it, is it really happening?
It took me a long time to see that silence was everything BUT silence for the sake of just being quiet. It's abuse when it's dished out by a P. Whenever I would complain about being ignored, the silent treatments got longer and longer, which can only mean it was intentional and it was something that he enjoyed. They are truly evil and sadistic even when they aren't saying a word
The Psychopath's Game: Gaslighting Through Silent Treatment
Psychopaths abhor making other people happy, but it's something they have to do to continue the game and keep you confused and playing along.
Article Author: Workinonit