I'm obviously not a professional but I want to try to explain intrusive thoughts as they were explained to me. The brain is a very complex organ. You have memories stored that have feelings attached. Very strong feelings also have an affect on the rest of your body. They're all connected. So you see this guy, or you run into him in your daily life, and you brain is pulling up these strong feelings and memories that have an effect on the whole of you, and they replay in your mind until your brain literally rewires itself and keeps those "tracks" replaying. And then you have intrusive thoughts that you don't want anymore.
The way to stop it is to 'retrain' your brain to think of other things, to give it a chance to rewire the neurons to more healthy "tracks". What you want is the reality of right now. You do that however you can. It helps immensely to keep busy with things that take conscious thought, and by forcing your brain to see the reality of your situation with this man. My therapist told me to start telling my brain "NO" and "STOP" very forcefully. This guy who did mean things to you is not a good person, you want to get away from him, so why would you want to keep caring what he's thinking or doing? It's NOT easy, but it certainly can be done. I would say that all of us who have been here long-term have done it rather successfully, even if it was a subconscious effort.
How to Stop Obsessing
The way to stop it is to 'retrain' your brain to think of other things, to give it a chance to rewire the neurons to more healthy "tracks".
Article Author: Adora